"My Own ThinG"

Plan B...do you have any?

2012-02-04T18:21:00.000+01:00

Life is actually interesting, I read this story and wonder how many of us can actually relate with it. I reckon many of us do have plan B in our head and even when we’re going with the flow…we still have plan B. For some people plan B is part of their daily routine – they don’t know better. They believe any plan or step – need to have an alternative!

Plan B can be a good thing but most often it does affect our ability to focus and give the desired attention needs for a relationship – can I just say ‘relationship’ isn’t about marriage or date between a guy and girl! The relationship can be anything between two or more people doesn’t have to be marital, sexual or intimate – it could be business, informal, formal, family etc.
I believe in any relationship you’re in, I believe it is important to understand there’s so much you can do and influence the relationship. I always used to tell a friend of mine – where your influence stops, that’s the beginning of someone’s influence!
At times you can be concerned about the other person and as a result you fail to put the required amount of affection, care, love, and communication etc – those things that makes relationship continue!
Things can either get better or get worst – things don’t stay static. I realised from the story that it is important to focus on your part and if you believe in the relationship bring your necessary contributions to make the relationship work. Love might not be enough but love and commitment from each party do make a relationship work!
It is never too late to tell someone what you feel or express your love! Life is short! Keep Loving!! I would like to read your comments – thanks for stopping!

Myownthing xx

I was unfaithful

2012-02-03T18:58:00.000+01:00

The street called ‘unfaithful’ for some is very familiar whilst for others they've not walked through the street or crossed the path of ‘unfaithful’. Interestingly, more people are experiencing it as a result there are debate and conversation about the subject matter - you just need to read magazine, listen to news, gossips etc . For some people they shy away from talking about it whilst some people still talk about it and express their opinion very vividly about it.

The reality is that ‘unfaithful’ does happen and when it does can bred distrust, heartbreak, disappointment etc and for some it is their daily experience and reality whilst for others it is can be a distant thing for them because they've not experienced it. I reckon when people hear the word ‘unfaithful’ they quickly conclude it must be either sexual, intimacy or emotional toward another person. Whilst that is so true ‘unfaithful’ is much more than sexual, intimacy or emotional. It is important to mention here that someone can be ‘unfaithful’ to him or herself. However, I would like to ask my readers why people are ‘unfaithful’ it is part of human frailty? If yes, can we accept it when people walk through the street or path called ‘unfaithful’?

I would like you guys to read this story because it is an honest experience! Life is a journey – no matter the experience keep moving ahead and learn from your daily experience! Thanks for stopping by – my pleasure! I hope I’ll read your comment.

myownthing xx

Stranger.....

2012-02-03T14:52:00.000+01:00

Thanks guys for your immense understanding about me not updating my blog. I’m so humbled by those checking my blog both openly and privately – thank you. My promise to myself is that I want to have a blog where I can share stuff that inspires people positively. The world is becoming much flimsy and each time you watch the TV or tune the radio like I try to do – you get to hear loads of bad news!

I want to quickly talk about the title of this post ‘Stranger’ - who’s a stranger? I reckon generally someone you don’t know or know a lot about – is a stranger! In the part of world I live, most people are skeptical about strangers ‘people they don’t know a lot about’.

My question is how much can you actually and truly know someone? Does not knowing someone affect your generosity or goodwill? For me personally, I’ve resolved in my heart that I don’t need to know someone or spend 365 days with the person to be able to express my generosity or goodwill – life indeed is short!

I’m aware that for others the methodology is spend a lot of time with him or her – then you’ll know him or her better! Yes, you might know him or her better but I don’t believe it is necessary the amount of time you spend with the person but the ‘quality’ and ‘connection’ with the person – that can unravel the person.

So whatever you want to do – you simply need to get on with it because you might not have the opportunity to extend or express that goodwill or generosity.

I would encourage you to read this story. Thank you once again for stopping by! Oh I forgot, please drop your comment.

Always my pleasure

myownthing xx

Love.....Price Tag

2011-09-22T23:41:00.000+02:00

Honestly, I should be in bed sleeping but I can't. So I decided to listening to some Jessie's. I like her originality and the meaning of some of her songs.

Listening to the "Price Tag" single, I found myself asking does love comes with a price tag?

I know love mean commitment, acceptance, forgiveness, fun, joy, peace, tears - for me I reckon those are the "price tags".

I believe love is far better than hate - so whatever the "price tags" are, it is worth loving. The mistake some people might make is when they're hurt they assumed it is not love. I'm using Jessie's line - forget about the "price tag"......money can't buy us happiness! It is all about LOVE!

Enjoy my video for the week. Have a great weekend. I like to read your comments as usual.

My ownthing xx

Life...another event

2011-09-11T21:54:00.000+02:00

Today is a remembranceday especially those of us who are old enough to remember the9/11 tragic incident. The pictures ofairplanes crashing into the buildings, people shouting and crying - that was asad day indeedL

Today’snewspapers, there are writers who said that day event changed the worldespecially middle east, travelling, security scrutiny at the airports, publicplaces, intelligent reports etc

I just wonderhow many of us have experience event(s) that change our lives...especially inrelationship. Some of these events are not entirely “bad” or “tragic” infactsome are “good” and “lovely”.

When youexperience a tragic event you wonder if you can survive and after days, monthsand years – when you look back, you can say yes I survived it. Whilst othertimes you experience event which is good and you don’t want it to end but yourealised as the days, months and years goes by life continues because life isfilled with events...

I want toencourage you whatever the event either “bad” or “good” it’s important tounderstand nothing will remain the same and our lives are filled with eventsbecause they somewhat shape us as human beings.

Do not holdback to the past....let the past stay in the past and look into the futurebecause the future is unknown and unexplored.

Thanks forstopping by...I would like to read your comment...

Myownthing xx

I love Jessie J...sharing this song with you..enjoy x

Wanderlust......happy travelling alone

2011-07-03T04:41:00.000+02:00

Lately, I've met and heard several people talking about their relationship ex boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands or wives. Often time, what they remember and talk about are the ‘not so good’ things.

I know in order for me to make any conclusion about their stories, it is important to hear from the other person. Unfortunately, I can’t hear from the other person but I know the person would have something to say.

Relationship is a journey. It is one of those ‘journeys’ that two person embark on with motive, agenda, or objective. I realised each person’s objective, motive or agenda can be more than one, extremely different or the same. The process of aligning each other objective, motive or agenda can be an intriguing process.

One thing I've learnt in my life is whatever is the motive, objective or agenda - don’t miss the lesson of that particular relationship journey. It is important to understand that not every relationship will last...some relationships are transient. I believe the most important thing is make the best of it and treasure the memories if possible.

Please enjoy the story below – like always I would love to read your comments. Thanks for stopping. Have a lovely week x

A letter to....A, whom I met on the internet

I may never send this because I'm not really into drama or revenge. Or maybe I'll send it as a sort of belated thank-you letter, for I still feel grateful to you for seven years of support, friendship and company, and what I thought was love. Do you think of me sometimes? I have thought of you, and I have tried to recapture some of the happiness by looking you up on the dating website and rereading your profile. You have not logged in for three years – indeed, I did think you had stopped your membership after we had known each other for a few months. I did – but it turns out that you went on paying your subscription.

You haven't changed the photo. An earnest expression, balding but with some beautiful white hair, thin lips, a sharp chin, glasses ... I remember thinking you were not handsome enough for me.

Yet when we met, I wanted you immediately. I think we both felt that way – it was what they call chemistry. I could hardly sit still in the restaurant, and when we parted that day, we just smiled at each other and you said: "Now what shall we do?" I almost said, "Don't go", but I tried to be demure and said: "Let's meet next week." When you got home, you sent a lovely email – I still have it.

Over those seven years, you gave me such a lot. You taught me to dance. You persuaded me to visit places that I had never dreamed of seeing and, best of all, you let me cook with you and garden with you and sit in front of the television with your cat. When I was resting on the sofa you would sometimes stroke my hair as you walked past.

When we met, you warned me of your wanderlust. Long journeys to inhospitable parts of the world. You were happy travelling alone and, anyway, I was not free to accompany you. When you were away, we wrote or phoned daily and I enjoyed your trips at secondhand. You came with me when I paid duty visits to elderly neighbours and relatives. You accompanied me to hospital appointments. When my mother died, you helped with the arrangements and emptying her flat, and you held me close when I cried.

I had never had this, and the day you told me it was over I wished I were dead. A cliché, I know, and until then I had not grasped what that feels like. As the years have passed I have tried to piece it all together. You said you loved me, but not enough. I have told myself that I very nearly gained the love of a truly kind and honourable man and had known seven years of happiness.

So reading your profile again on the website, I noticed with surprise that it had been modified in 2004 – three years into our time together. You had logged in and written: "I'm on my travels at present, but don't let that put you off. I'll be back in May so if you are interested, do please get in touch."

Of course I don't know whether any new woman did get in touch. But now I know that, even then, you were looking for someone else. For another four years you continued to be kind to me – but my memory of those years, as it turns out, is a false memory. Were you cynically staying with me till you found someone better? Or were you secretly struggling with yourself – not wanting to hurt me, waiting till you had supported me through some of the painful times I faced in those years?

What have I learned from all this? Not a lot. The past is not always what we think it is. But perhaps it is better not to know that.

One last thing. That huge vase you brought back from India for me. It is in the charity shop window now.

I wish you well, B

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jun/25/letter-to-man-met-on-internet

The Love concerns...

2011-06-06T23:39:00.000+02:00

Hello everyone ages now I know. Busy with stuff, life can just get busy sometime. This might sound like a cliché but it is real to me....I blog about what I can relate or what people close to me can relate with....‘my own thing’.

I spoke to my friend few days ago about him starting a relationship but he’s worried about few things which I want to talk about and hopefully hear you guys comment as well.

He’s interested in a girl who lives like 24 hours flight away from him. He told me what he likes about her and how she makes him feel during and after a conversation. I'm so happy for my friend because finding true love can be easy and difficult at the same time.

You must have heard stories where people met their true love without stress while others can be difficult or painstaking – whatever it is, I believe it’s possible to find true love...and Love can be true!

My friend concerns are three key things - distance, the extent of the affection for each other and time. After our conversation, I felt people are genuinely concerned about these three things.

People are concern about distance – you hear people say I can’t date or start a relationship with him or her because you’re not in my country, city, town or neighbourhood.

I wonder to what extent distance can be a barrier in a relationship? Does the ability to pop around and see the person you’re dating makes relationship work better or best? It is important for people to see each other but I'm not sure to what extent. Does seeing each other everyday or easily make relationship stronger and better?

I said to my friend that he should focus on stuff within his control and don’t worry too much about the distance (I called it distance-credit not deserved). I feel distance and proximity aren't the top key drivers that make relationship work. For me, the first thing is the ‘connection’ or ‘bond’ in my opinion that's the base for any relationship before understanding, communication, commitment etc.

The ability to understand each other extent of affection can be somewhat possible or impossible. However, it is important for each party within the relationship to be convinced that he or she feels loved and in-love. I'm not too sure what I said to him before I start sounding like a ‘shrink’...but I think I told him to focus on his affection. I believe it is important for someone to firstly be clear on how and what he or she is feeling before that can be translated to the other person as well.

Time is crucial in any relationship. In order for any relationship to begin, the timing has to be right. I asked my friend if he’s aware of her ‘time zone’ – which meant if she’s ready to date or she’s not – his answer is yes. The reality is that every relationship has a timeline. It is important to be clear about your limit in respect to time because time is uncontrollable but time can be maximise where possible. Every relationship on planet earth has some sort of timeline. You can use ‘time’ to know vividly when a relationship is about to end or going to continue. What do you think guys?

I wish my friend success because it is better to be in love....

I would love to read your comments please. Thanks for stopping again.

Finding Love when you’re not looking

2011-02-24T22:02:00.000+01:00

Firstly, happy new year to you! I hope the year is going on well for you as it is for me. I made up my mind last year that this year I'll be loving, optimistic, thankful and trustworthy.

Few people wrote to me to update my blog – thank you so much. My blog is my ‘own thing’ I try to make sure whatever I post here is meaningful.

I read a story today about finding love in places you didn’t expect to find it. I don’t know about you but for me I can relate with the story ‘finding love in places you didn’t expect’ – My love journey is not always the smooth path or happy ending tales but indeed I’ve found Love in a place where I wasn't looking .

Interesting, when you find love in such circumstance the realisation that Love is real is just amazing. Finding Love is the first step but also most importantly what you do with the love you’ve found does matter as well. I reckon we all have the capacity to find love or identify when we’re in love but the question is would you protect, nurture and keep it?

Each day, I keep learning the quintessence of Love. I do like this song by African China...indeed when you love someone tell the person you do....I'm not sure about the ‘walk up’ part but I would say it is important to express it when you can. I reckon we understand the underlying message expressed in the song.

This year for me I’ve decided to stay in the place of LOVE.....I hope you do same and enjoy every step of the love journey. If you’re not looking and you find LOVE, just keep it and don’t let it go!

I would like to read your comment. Thanks for stopping by x

TGiF -Yes You Can!

2010-09-17T17:01:00.000+02:00

The message is relevant to me and I don't know about you. One thing I've learnt about myself is - it's not what's happening or happened to me but it's about how I handle what's happening or happened.

No room for hatred - keep loving no matter the circumstance, incident, event.

Indeed if only you can believe that Yes You Can (YYC) because some how great is His mercies towards you & me. Let this song resonate within your mind and spirit..enjoy TGiF

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY

Thanks for stopping by and listening....I love you all x

copyright - Youtube.

The Price of Love?

2010-09-17T05:07:00.000+02:00

The time is 03.19 in the morning.....flashback of memories invading my mind – it dawn on me that I need to write something. I felt I should title this post “the price of love” because part of the memories that invaded my mind where some what the price I’ve paid or paying each breaking of a new dawn for love. If you’re not clear about my definition of Love you can read my post about love.

I read that whenever two people come together to start a relationship or falling in love it does comes at the cost of losing close friends, resources such as finance, time, emotions, energy etc. For some people it is a price they’re willing to pay. Whilst for some it's much than losing close friends but also losing family members i.e. parents and siblings.

I sat with someone two days ago and I asked him question about himself and he told me about his life especially the price he had to pay because of love – he lost his parents and brother because of his decision to love someone.

We all at some point in our lives we must have to pay a price of love. Retrospectively, I realised that I’ve stick or walked out of situation because of the price of love (possibly I can’t afford it, I didn’t bargain for it, wasn’t ready, too much for me, very complicated etc).

Is Love worth fighting for? Honestly, I hope you’re not expecting me to answer my question but I guess we all can answer it frankly depending on our circumstance or experience.

In contrast, I realised that sometime we pay the price of love because we can afford it. Other times, we can’t afford it but because we want it we do all we can to pay for it to get and keep it - whichever is your situation – make sure it’s worth it!

For those of you that leave me messages to update my blog – thank you so much. For those of you that visit my blog from time to time – thank you so much. If this is your first time stopping by – thank you. I hope to read your comments.

I don’t know what you may have gone or going through – whatever the circumstance or situation keep loving - far better than hatred and the price is worth paying!

I love you all x

Photograph: Philip Gould/Corbis

Hurting the One You Love

2010-05-20T17:26:00.000+02:00

I wasn't ready to update my blog but I guess you do things sometimes you didn’t set out initially to do. I guess this is one of them! I decided to title this post “hurting the one you love”. I would mention here the stuff I do blog about is stuff I can relate with; things real people are going through. My joy would be someone reading the post and be encouraged, strengthened and comforted as he/she travels through the journey of life.

Recently, I spoke to my cousin’s friend and he was so open to me about his struggles and how he struck his wife several times. I can hear myself encouraging him to curb it because it’s one of those actions I believe by the end of the whole episode you’ll surely regret your action. I guess a lot of people do find themselves in situation where we’ve over-reacted as a result hurt someone they love.

I believe you can hurt someone you love intentionally and unintentionally. The un-intentionally hurt might be as a result of lack of knowledge or will-power to stop whatever would cause hurt to the one you love!

I hope I’m talking to real people here – who will get upset to think about the person or people you loved wanted to hurt you. It is important to realised that people are different so their experience but sometimes we might one way or the other expect much from someone and when that person disappoint – you feel really hurt and can react in ways that’s “disgraceful”.

I really don’t know what you’re going through at the moment but I know we all are going through one thing or the other currently in our lives. I just want to encourage you whenever you realised you’ve hurt someone don’t hesitate to apologise or say sorry. Personally, I’m not ashamed to say sorry to anyone I’ve hurt one way or the other because I realised in my imperfection state I’m bond to sometimes hurt people I do love.

If you’re reading this post and I’ve personally hurt you – I want to say I’m sorry! I look forward to reading your comments as always I enjoy them.

Enjoy the story below:

Experience: I used to hit my husband

'I felt scared and ashamed of what I'd done. I apologised and thought it was a one-off, but it was a pattern that would carry on for the next 10 years'

The first time I struck him was during an argument over money. He'd decided to pay off a loan without telling me and we'd gone overdrawn. I was worried and tried to discuss it with him, at which point he left the room. I felt we hadn't talked it through properly and followed him. The next minute I was hitting him around the head.

I remember losing control and my limbs lashing out. Afterwards he was upset and I cried – I felt scared and ashamed of what I'd done. I apologised and thought it was a one-off, but in fact it was a pattern that carried on for the next 10 years.

I met my husband through mutual friends at Durham University. I was 19 and he was five years older, more worldly and mature. He was less serious, too, and made me laugh. We married five years later. He had a job in IT by then and I started work as a divorce lawyer. The early days of our marriage were steady, but as the stress of my job and responsibilities grew, I took it out on him.

After that first time, it happened again about 18 months later. I felt a surge of rage I couldn't control. My anger would escalate during arguments over household chores or my husband coming to bed late. I remember feeling I was out of my body, watching myself and telling myself to stop, but I couldn't. I would hit him hard; hitting to hurt.

One time I picked up a table and crashed it down so hard on the ground that it broke. I left bite marks in his arm a couple of times – it was similar to the way siblings fight, yet he never once struck back. He'd hold up his hands to shield himself, which made me feel even worse.

I know my husband felt emotionally hurt at times – it was upsetting for him to think the person he loved wanted to hurt him – but he never threatened to leave me. He felt there was more to me than this behaviour, and that we still had a strong marriage. I'm a petite woman, a little over eight stone (51kg), and my husband is a big man. Yet he said he didn't feel emasculated, and that I never physically hurt him. While I exploded, he remained calm. I was thankful, but I was also frustrated that he wasn't communicating fully with me. I was using violence to get a reaction. I was verbally aggressive, too. I'd make demeaning comments, sarcastic and personal attacks – all the things that erode love. I'd blame him, preach and criticise.

I couldn't understand why I wanted to be aggressive to someone I loved. I lacked self-awareness. I now realise the anger I felt was to do with stress and low self-esteem. I was packing my life too tightly, working long hours as a lawyer, volunteering at the Citizens Advice bureau and doing soup runs for the homeless. I had what I felt was a privileged upbringing; my family was middle class and I went to private schools. I felt I had an obligation to repay this to society. I thought I should be superhuman and I felt my husband should be, too. To other people I seemed calm and accommodating, a kind of peacemaker. But inside I was pent up and deeply ashamed of myself.

Eventually I accepted something had to change. I'd heard about domestic violence groups, but only for men. I felt my behaviour carried an added stigma – women weren't expected to be violent, especially high-powered working women who volunteered for charities. Then I found an anger management course on the internet. It was nerve-racking at first, and I knew I'd have to face up to aspects of my life I'd prefer to overlook. Yet the course was a turning point and, by the time it finished, I felt confident I could control myself. Then, two years later, I hit my husband again. I had become complacent, assumed that I'd changed. So when I slapped his face for the last time, I was forced to confront the situation. This time I told my family and friends what had been happening. That they didn't criticise or judge was a huge help. Soon after I decided to go part-time as a lawyer and a mediator, and now I run a course to help people deal with anger and conflict.

My husband and I are still together, and I'm careful not to choose language that is aggressive. If I ever get angry and feel my heartbeat quicken, I leave the room, but that is rare. I wouldn't claim our marriage is now perfect, but it's pretty good. It's a caring and gentle relationship, which feels like a big achievement for me.

Photograph: Martin Usborn

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/apr/17/i-used-to-hit-my-husband

Treasures..........

2010-01-30T10:46:00.000+01:00

This post isn’t about the request from my friends (who email or ping asked me to update my blog) but profoundly I want to say thank you. The reason I decided to update my blog today is as a result of my conviction about what to blog about. As much as I can I want to make this blog my own experience (my own thing) and people can read and be inspired, encouraged, motivated, uplifted, hope, pushing forward, joy, un-condemned……

I heard resoundingly that life is made up of the series of choice we make each day in our lives. Personally, I was caught up in my process of changing my mind-paradigm especially the area of making good, better and best choices in my life in all ramifications. I can’t say for anyone but myself that I’ve made bad choices that I truly regret and I wish I can make a good, better or best choices instead of the bad choices. I’m not anywhere perfect but I can truly assure you that my perfection is on the way – so don’t get it twisted!

One of the areas I’m truly working on is about making good, better, best choices about my treasure(s). Okay now, these treasures I’m talking about aren’t about money alone but time, relationship, career, friendship, spirituality, health-wise, - just name it!! So watch the space because I’ve made up my mind about the treasures that matters most and where they should be laid-up which I fundamentally believe would have a huge impact on my choices.

So guys you don’t have to cry or weep for the choices you made that wasn’t good, better or best you made already but as I said in my “let go” on post – you got to think about the consequence of the choice that’s before you today to make. I pray God help us to make good, better and best choices as we live in this decade which I believe is VERY crucial!!

Please read this story below and learn the lesson in it. Wishing you a happy February – hmmmm the year has started running (TIME) – I hope you’re ahead or running with it? Don’t be behind!

Okay now – don’t forget to leave your comment because I’m truly happy to read it.

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Depositing treasures

"Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life." - 1 Timothy 6:19

Fifteen years ago, I worked for a bank branch in the downtown area. One of my responsibilities at that time was the safe-deposits. This particular branch had four thousand safe-deposit boxes. Every day we had fifty admissions to them, so there were a number of records to take care of. On an annual basis, we would send out a billing to the customers and go through the process of collecting the incoming rent. For one reason or another, there were many who were delinquent in their payments. Sometimes it was because a customer had passed away, and in these cases, after a period of time the locks on those boxes would be drilled and we would take inventory of the contents.

It was interesting to see what items the various people treasured-what items they felt were important. Some of the things we found included: birth, death, and marriage certificates, diplomas, awards, currency, medallions, precious metals, jewelry, passports, photos, videos, stocks and bonds, titles, deeds, insurance papers, warranties, receipts, letters, art works, and newspaper articles.

All the items had a value of some sort, whether monetary or sentimental, but the persons who had treasured them were no longer able to enjoy them. Items that were once so valuable, so important that they needed to be protected under lock and key, were left behind when the people passed away. They became worthless to the original owners.

Heaven is our utmost safe-deposit box. The most important thing we will ever deposit is our soul when we make sure our names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Then, as we follow the Lord and work for Him, we are laying up treasures in Heaven. These are treasures that will not be left behind-we will be able to enjoy them throughout eternity!

As we go through our day today, let us remember that our work is for the Lord, and our priority is not gaining in this world, but laying up treasures in Heaven.

A Year Gone - Tribute to Dad

2010-01-07T23:15:00.000+01:00

1943 - 2009

“A tribute for you, because, so soon you left us, after all hope.

Nevertheless, we are consoled that you had the opportunity to accept God’s precious gift to mankind, and never said no.

You opened your bounties to all and was benevolent to all that needed.

Truth was found with you.

Your quietness, we will not overlook.

Your loved ones miss your counsel, love and care-

You left us but the Holy Spirit is comforting us each day especially mum.

Adieu Dad”.

Without Him......Merrry Christmas!!

2009-12-24T15:26:00.000+01:00

I’ve actually not sat down or imagine that one day – I won’t celebrate or speak to my Dad on Christmas day. This is the first Christmas I’m going to experience this. I’m not making a fuss about it but for me it resonate that life is full of surprises (good or bad).

I’m going to miss my Dad tomorrow – his presence or his voice but I’m fully persuaded that someday I’ll see him again. I’m concern about my mum because her husband and companion won't be available to spend this time with her.

Christmas means different thing to people, I briefly read on bbc.co.uk (have your say) asking the question what does Christmas mean to you – you’ll shocked what people are saying.

Personally, Christmas is about my risen SAVIOUR and LORD - JESUS CHRIST’s birthday celebration. It’s a time for me to reflect and demonstrate the purpose he came to this world – LOVE – John 3:16. It epitomizes GRACE and MERCY!!

I’m going to encourage you to enjoy every bit the season with strangers, love ones, unloved ones and yourself.

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pow………Christmas is here!!

I’m wishing you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Thanks for stopping by. Love you all x

Let Go.....

2009-12-04T14:53:00.000+01:00

This story made me think about how life, relationship and love can be interesting. Have you ever wondered letting go of something you love or cherish so much? Have you found yourself in a relationship that you really want to be in but you know you’re not good enough and because you’re not good enough the only option left for you is to let go of that relationship. I’m talking about relationship in the “context” of human - marriage, family, work, things, place, memories etc.

I’m sitting out looking outside the window as I write this post and flood of memories good and bad springing up in me (indicating my relationships). I know I’ve and still having my fair share of what I just describe above but I believe one of my driving force is ME – I choose to move or press on!

Few days ago, I heard about moving or pressing on – forgetting the past. I tweet about forgetting the past and pressing on – indeed some of us need to check ourselves and examine what we’re holding or letting off from our grip. Right in the middle of reading the story of Anita and Dan, I quietly whispered to myself, I won’t judge her but praise her bravery because loving someone or thing involves responsibilities and resources.

I believe one of the ways you can be truthful to yourself about relationship and love is when you get to the point of accepting the responsibilities and releasing the resources needed to facilitate the relationship either you’re holding back or freely giving – for me that’s when you’ll truly give an honest appraisal of where you’re in the relationship!

I’ve a Love book – okay now don’t have a go at me because I’ve a Love book (disclaimer). I don’t go about with any Love book…..I don’t okay LOL. One of the quotes in the book “Love is waking up in the night with a sick child and not a healthy adult”

This quote makes some meaning to me now. Have you ever wonder something making meaning to you probably after some months or years you heard or experienced it? I believe Love and Relationship deserves our attention and whenever we find ourselves - let hope for the best and if it doesn’t work out they way we envisage – let ensure we do our best at that given time and minimize the regrets or feeling of disappointment – hold the memories for the time and let go when it’s due.

I don’t know what I’ve just written but I believe as you read the story of Anita and Dan – you can learn a thing or two from it – hope would add-value to your life!

Please leave me your comments – I enjoy reading them. Thanks for stopping and reading my blog!!

Would I Marry Again?

2009-11-21T16:34:00.000+01:00

Would I marry again is a question some people might ask or asking. Single people it’s a question they might or not consider asking. You might be in a relationship and you’re asking yourself would I date again? It’s worth it? You’re divorce and you’re asking yourself – would I marry again? Whichever category you’re right now – I personally would encourage you to live life purposefully because life is worth living!

My blog is about my experiences, happiness, fortunes, misfortunates, fears, anxieties, concerns, things I can relate with, things real people are experiencing or gone through – in a nutshell it’s my “my own thing”

I would like to reiterate that my blog isn’t a self-righteous or religious blog. I know people can be shallow and would like to box someone but I always say to people around me – don’t box me because if you do, you’ll miss the best part of me – I try to keep it real.

Personally, I like to think I’m the sort of person that’s genuinely interested in people and I do my best to help if I can. I’ve found myself in situations trying to help someone the outcome weren’t what I expected or wanted. But I must say my experiences won’t put me off learning from life because I’m a great believer that life has a lot in stock for each of us to keep us busy.

I believe the way I see life has slightly changed after my Dad’s death. I talked about my Dad’s death because I personally feel I’ve not done one percent of what he’d for me, he was a good man but not perfect. I believe the stuff I blog about or stories I share are things I can or might relate with, things real people experiencing or experienced which I can learn from – don’t judge them.

You reading this today might relate with part of her story in your own way but I believe we can learn a thing or two from her story.

I don’t dislike fiction stories but I’m a fan of non-fiction (REAL). Life is worth living and whatever you’re doing or going through just make sure you give your best if possible.

I would like to say ta much for stopping and leave your comments x

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'I convinced myself that no one would know and that I was simply helping someone I loved'
I met Adam when I was 22: I'd been searching for a man who could love me despite my lack of confidence and mood swings. He was three years older than me and seemed to have the stability I craved. I had recently completed a three-month rehabilitation programme to treat my drug and alcohol dependence. At last I'd found someone who supported me through my tears and the insecurities that my friends had found so difficult to cope with.

Adam never drank alcohol and had a close family. I, on the other hand, grew up in a one-parent family, my mother having left when I was five. I went to a Christian faith school, and my father was law-abiding and had instilled the same in me. But by my early 20s I was an alcoholic.
I moved in with Adam, but I wasn't happy. I trusted no one and depression left me feeling worthless. Our relationship was troubled and I'd start arguments; yet time and again Adam would ask me to marry him, believing it was the much-needed bond to keep us together. Each time I would refuse him.

After 18 months and yet another heated row, he left me. I became hysterical and begged him to come back, but he refused. In my panic I agreed to marry him, convincing myself I was doing the right thing.
Four weeks later, tears ran down my cheeks in the register office as I said "I do" in front of four of Adam's friends. I kept the wedding secret from my father and friends. Immediately after the ceremony, I regretted what I'd done. I didn't know if I loved my new husband, but I did know this was not how a marriage was supposed to start.

As the days passed my anxiety grew. I didn't want to be married. Two weeks later I jumped on a train to London and stayed with a friend, determined to start afresh. I changed my phone number and didn't see my husband again. I hated myself for hurting him and my priority each day was drinking enough to forget.

A number of years passed and I immersed myself in alcohol and drugs to shield myself from reality. I decided to leave London and I flew to the Gambia for a break. Within weeks, I met Hassan and we fell in love. I moved into the pool house of his family home where we lived for seven months. By now, everything felt more stable; I had stopped using drugs, although I still drank.

We were the same age and we talked about starting a family and living between the Gambia and England, but he needed a visa to enter the UK. The simplest way to get this was to be married to a British national. I wanted to help and feared that if he knew I was already married, he'd leave me. Finally, after many battles, I said yes. I tried to ignore the nausea I felt, knowing I was still legally married. I convinced myself no one would know and that I was simply helping someone I loved.

Hassan's family made all the arrangements, so the magnitude of my decision did not hit me until after the ceremony. Once we had exchanged rings, I wanted to vanish. Every day I was in tears. I knew what I had done was illegal, but I had also broken holy laws regarding the sanctity of marriage, which I had grown up believing in.

Fearing for my sanity, I came back to London five days later, alone. I suffered panic attacks and considered confessing to the police – but I decided to get drunk instead. That continued for three months, before I admitted myself into rehab.

Why did I marry one man while I was still married to another? It's a question I struggle with and, in truth, I'm still not sure. People probably assume that women who behave like this are desperate for attention or maybe addicted to the thrill of getting married. For me it was neither. I was confused and deeply insecure, and partly it was just an urgent need not to be alone.

I stopped drinking five years ago, aged 27, and around the same time I told each man about the other. Both Adam and Hassan thought me "silly", not malicious; miraculously neither was angry, just sad.

Once both divorces were finalised, I didn't celebrate: I had a quiet moment of contemplation and shed tears of gratitude for having found sobriety and some self-esteem.
Would I marry again? Yes. My new ability to make choices free from desperate insecurity will, I hope, let me be honest about my past with a future partner, leaving my experience where it belongs – behind me.

http://www.guardian.co.uk
Photograph: David Levene

Who said? Lessons of Life…

2009-11-03T13:55:00.000+01:00

Who said life can’t surprise you? Who said the person you love can’t surprise you? Who said life isn’t interesting? Who said life can’t continue? Who said we can’t forgive? Who said there is no hope for you? Who said your circumstance can’t change from better to worst? Who said there is no light in the tunnel? Who said breakable things can’t be kept carelessly? Who said life is over without that one?

Whatever or wherever you’re right now – keep appreciating life and enjoy each day ~ keep living!! I would love to read your comments. You can get your mates to read this story and make your comment. True confession – I love reading your comments:-)

I'd just put the kettle on when the doorbell rang. I was working at home that day and could have done without the interruption, but for no particular reason I felt unusually cheerful and optimistic, as if nothing could put me off my stride. Over the next half-hour, that would change, but I had no inkling of the enormity of the event that was about to unfold.

I opened the front door to find Lora, my friend, standing there, eyes red-rimmed. Lora was the most ceaselessly happy person I knew. Something was definitely up. I sat her on a chair in the kitchen while I finished making the tea, shaken to see her in such a state but almost afraid to ask what had caused it. "It's Sam," she sobbed. "I think he's having an affair." What little remained of my good mood disappeared under a dark cloud.

Lora was married to my best friend, Sam. She was best friends with my wife, Dawn. Our children were best friends, too. It would have been hard to find two families who were closer without being related by blood. This had been the case for many years. We'd go on holiday together, share problems, recipes, clothes and colds. We penciled in so much down time – down the pub in the case of Sam and me – our families' meshed lives had the feel of a benignly plotted soap.

A little calmer after a cup of tea, Lora asked where Dawn was. I'd suspected it was Dawn's shoulder she wanted to cry on. I said I wasn't sure; she'd popped out for a while. Then the doorbell rang again. This time, as I walked down the hall, my knees felt as if they wanted to buckle under a gathering weight of foreboding, the sense that something was terribly wrong and that these moments were an inescapable part of its realization.

Dawn and Sam were at the door; I'd seen them together a thousand times before and, for a fraction of a second, my sense of rising panic relaxed its grip. Then I looked down. They were holding hands. I gestured for them to go through, my body now so limp with shock I could barely close the door behind them. There was an awful inevitability to what was coming next. "Oh no. Oh no," was all I could think, over and over. This couldn't be happening.

I sat down and squeezed Lora's hand, both of us now stunned into tearful silence as they stood in front of us. In what remains the most surreal five minutes of my life, they delivered their vision of what was going to happen from this moment on. The affair had been active for a couple of months; the mutual affection it grew out of had been there for much longer, possibly since the day they met. They said they wanted us to get divorced so they could get married – houses sold, proceedings and children split, a new marital home for the happy couple bought and furnished with reasonable haste. More than 40 years of marriage between the four of us was reduced to rubble in a handful of sentences. Had I seen it coming? No. Did I miss the signs? There weren't any.

The proficiency of the concealment somehow squared with the measured detachment of the announcement. They showed no emotion, as if deliberately distancing themselves from the effects of their revelation. Perhaps it was the only way they could confront us. Lora and I said nothing. We were too stunned to speak. And that was that. Dawn and Sam let themselves out. Whether they were still holding hands I couldn't say.

Nothing can prepare you for the inevitable collateral damage when families break apart. But much of what Dawn and Sam decreed that dark afternoon came to pass and, if I'm honest, made all our lives better in the long run. In the next few years, both Lora and I found happiness in new marriages and the children remain the best of friends, some now leading their own married lives. After a few short relationships, I met my current partner and sold the flat I bought after the divorce to live with her. It doesn't feel quite like a happy ending, but I'm full of hope.

I still speak to Sam. No, the friendship didn't survive intact – how could it? – but over time the anger and resentment has faded and, today, a few threads remain. Occasionally, at family gatherings, we have a beer together. The betrayal has never been mentioned and, for the sake of all our new beginnings, perhaps it never will.

Reference:

Photograph: Mark Chilvers

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/31/wife-left-me-for-my-best-friend

A letter to ... my ex-husband, wherever he is

2009-10-19T16:55:00.000+02:00

Chilling and reading as usual, I found myself reading the below letter from guardian.co.uk. I've this special love for guardian newspaper, because of the quality of the news and articles and the size of course. One of my highlights travelling to or within in the UK possibly any BA flight is having to pick a guardian newpaper, read each page of the newspaper. I just love how the writers delivers their stories!

I've the guardian.co.uk app in my phone and I read guardian everyday. I wish I do read my Bible ~ but I'm going to leave that for another day.

I read this letter from this woman, I realised it can happen to each of us....I wonder what life is about and why our experiences and situations are different and unique. One thing I'm confident about is that no matter what, life is worth living!!

Indeed, life can throw stuffs at you, you just never expect. I went to see a friend who dad passed away recently. I saw his frustration and disappointment which I can relate with because my dad passed away as well this year. Some times you think in your subconscious that your parents are all going be alive, stay together, wealthy or poor - but what if they don't?

Some how and some where life continues...I really don't know what and how but whatever you're going through just be positive and believe life is worth living!

I want to express my appreciation to my mentor DC - thank you so much!

I love you all - thanks for stopping by - would love to read your comment.

The letter I always wanted to write

This year would have been our golden wedding year – we didn't even make 15. I wonder how we would have celebrated and I wonder how surprised you would be to know that you have six grandchildren from the five children you abandoned. I can, maybe, understand why you no longer wanted me in your life, but to leave five children (aged nine months to nine years) and never want to see them again I find truly incredible. When you met anyone new and they asked about your family, did you deny our existence? When you looked in the mirror every morning as you shaved your oh-too-handsome face did you wonder, ever, if those progeny were thriving or starving?

As birthdays and Christmases came around did you never consider sending them a card? Your favourite child's birthday is on Boxing Day and I just could not believe that you could forget that. The youngest two cannot remember your presence in their lives.

My natural curiosity wants answers to so many questions. Where are you? Are you even alive? Why did you never honour the court order for maintenance but, much more importantly, did you not love them enough to want to support and see them? You were a good, kind and tender father so it made it all the stranger that you abandoned them.

So, instead of a gold watch, I am going to give you a short report on what you have missed. All five children have survived, two sons and three daughters. You could be proud of them all for although you did not give them your presence through all those formative years, I cannot deny your genetic contribution. I could not even if I wanted to as both your sons are almost clones of you. Spookily, they have many of your mannerisms, which cannot have possibly been learned; they gesticulate wildly with their hands as they tell a story, just as you always did.

When you left me that day with a rubber cheque for £40 and a house soon to be repossessed, I could not have dreamed of where I and our five children would be now and that is all I want to tell you … not the long and tortuous journey to get here, just the facts.

Our eldest son qualified as a doctor and is now a consultant and clinical director of a large hospital group; he has two children. The other son, who is child number four, is "something in the city" having qualified as a lawyer and a chartered accountant. He has had two wives and a child with each; they are a delight. Your favourite daughter is quite beautiful, works in television and has a lovely son of 16. She has done a good job with him and his half-brother.

Daughter number two, and the middle child, suffered most from your desertion; she finally had massive brain surgery in her early 20s to remove scarring from her temporal lobe, which she acquired when she had that febrile convulsion after we left her with her grandmother one awful weekend – do you remember the dramatic flight from Scotland to see her, a nine-month-old baby, in a huge hospital cot? She overcame so much, has a degree in psychology, lives in France and was married last year. That brings me to our baby who is now 39; she is a head gardener in a country home, single and a life-enhancer to all she meets.

God, you have missed it all … the valleys of despair and the mountaintops of pride and delight that can only come from loving unconditionally. Where are you now?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/17/letter-to-exhusband

Faithful-NESS

2009-09-26T13:21:00.000+02:00

I read this story few days ago and decided I’m going to blog about FAITHFULNESS. Faithfulness is one word majority of people understand what the word means literally but some people might interpret it differently. Whatever your definition is, I believe the word is profound. I’m going to share this with you within the context of God’s faithfulness. We mortals are limited especially in our demonstration of faithfulness.

Sometimes, you’re faithful to someone or something but you don’t receive the same measure back.... I understand how disappointed and gutted you’ll be. Whatever the situation is just keep doing your best knowing that GOD IS FAITHFUL! He loves us no matter what and where we’re now in our lives.

I hope you’re all having a great life and the lessons of life are valuable. Do your best and leave the rest for GOD!

Read and enjoy. Please do leave your comment or experience re faithfulness...I do appreciate your comments.

Disclaimer I’m not all that but I can see His faithfulness in my life and yours I’m sure!

Have a nice day...

“Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised).” – Hebrews 10:23

When the young couple married, they were just like any number of others: they were in love, and that would be enough, wouldn’t it? Of course, it was not. When times began to get tough, the wife realized her need for God. She prayed and gave her heart to Jesus while she was still quite young, and she served the Lord through the good times and bad. Her husband never surrendered his heart to God, so she had the full responsibility for the spiritual training of their seven children.

When the children grew up, they left home and started families of their own. The couple became grandparents, then great-grandparents. The husband eventually became ill with emphysema, and he needed to carry a tank of oxygen around with him. Then the sad news came: the wife was diagnosed with leukaemia, and in just a few weeks it was over. She went to be with the Lord, while her husband and most of her children were still unsaved.

That couple was my aunt and uncle. After my aunt’s death, I prayed that my uncle would find peace with God before his own health got worse. A short time later, I heard he had started going to church, and then I received news that he was saved! Last week, another family member received a call from him rejoicing that he had been sanctified. My uncle said, “I feel like I just started living.”

Well, indeed he has. I thought of my aunt in Heaven. How she must be rejoicing! She was saved for about forty years, and I am sure she prayed for her husband all that time. Now, he has finally surrendered his life to the Lord. I’ll say God is faithful!
We should be encouraged to continue praying for our loved ones. God answers prayer, sometimes even after we can no longer pray.

Ask the Father

2009-09-01T22:49:00.000+02:00

My brother sent this mail to me...I was coming back from work so I decide to check my mails...after reading this mail, I made up my mind to share it on my blog with you.

Lately, interesting stuffs happening in my life....I can’t trade my life for another one but one thing I’ve learnt in life is try and make the best of what you have because time and chance happens to us all ~ okay now I'm digressing!!

I can reckon with the man’s children...I remember telling my parents “they shouldn’t ‘stress’ themselves I can sort it myself” I wonder what their thoughts were whenever I say to them “dad or mum, I can deal with it” – they watch me grow and say to them "I’m a grown man now I can sort myself". But as we all know parents will and shall be parents always!

I just can’t get my head around my parents love! I believe you too...that’s why whenever I think about my dad ~ adieu to him isn’t enough! He loved me and demonstrated to me in various ways!

God is just amazing because no matter what he’s always there not to prove his worth but to let you know that His Love is so dependable and reliable! I do rely on His love just like my parents love that’s amazing ~ HIS is just the BEST!!

Enjoy the below story and enjoy HIS LOVE!! Have a nice day.

Please I would like to read your comments!

"And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear." - Isaiah 65:24

A few years ago, as my children grew toward adulthood, I came to the realization that they were starting to rely on themselves and others for problems which, in the past, they had brought to "good ol' Dad" to fix.

One time in particular that I will never forget, was the day my daughter came in and declared that her car was making a funny noise whenever she turned the wheel a certain direction. I promptly got up from my chair and told her I would take a look at it. She quickly responded, "That's okay, Dad," and explained that I did not need to bother because her boyfriend would be down to visit on Friday night, and he would know just what to do.

I still remember the near devastation I felt. This was the culmination of a series of events with my two children that left me wondering if I was of any use to them anymore. I spent a lot of time and attention after that looking for ways to help them and to prove my worth to myself and to my children.

As time has gone on, though, questions and problems have arisen that caused both of my children to seek out my advice or help. When these occasions occur, they find an eager helper.

These days, I often find Scriptures that remind me of those times, and they lead me to ponder the love and concern of my Heavenly Father. They cause me to ask myself, Am I still looking to my Father for the answers to each and every need, each and every day? He wants to have a close relationship with us and to help us succeed. The proof of His love was shown when Jesus died for us on Calvary.. He is eager, willing, and more than able to "fix" all that concerns or troubles us.

Stand Back and Watch

2009-08-16T22:57:00.000+02:00

I asked a friend about feedback about my blog. The reply I got was you can diverse i.e. talk about other stuff...I quickly reminded my friend that my blog is about me....it’s about stuff that relates to me. I am not writing for anyone but myself but if you’re like me then we might have or share same experience.

My lovely brother sent me the below post which I felt I should share with you. I realised in life we all have our battle and storm to deal with. As I sat down listening to Marvin Snapp singing “I speak Life” in my dark lounge with my notebook light I realised I can find myself within the story. I don’t know where you’re right now and what your needs are but I know that God shall supply all your need!

Have a wonderful week! Signing off with U2 featuring MJB “ONE LOVE”

"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:19

My wife and I had not been married long when we started on a lengthy trip up into Washington State. Our "ancient" car ran well, but a problem developed with the starter. The vehicle would not start without our having to push it. We found a garage that was open late on Saturday evening and took the car there to be repaired. The mechanic informed us that he had no replacement parts, but would try to repair it without them. While he was removing the starter and preparing to test it, we waited in the backseat of the car. Opening the Bible for encouragement, we read the words from Philippians 4:19. They pertained to us because we certainly had a need.

Meanwhile, the testing was not going so well. Sparks flew from our starter, and smoke rolled from the garage testing equipment. The mechanic, afraid of burning down the garage, quickly disconnected the electricity and announced that he could not help us. However, we knew that God had just informed us that He could help us. We wondered what was going to happen. What would the Lord do? This was our time to stand back and watch.

The mechanic put the car back together and told us to turn the ignition on. I did as I was instructed. The car started immediately; our need was supplied. And when we sold that old car a few months later, there was only one good part on it-the starter that God himself had repaired.

When obstacles arise in our daily lives, our first reaction ought not to be frustration or worry. If our lives are in God's hands, we already know how every situation will end: God will supply our need. Not only that, but He will supply it according to His "riches in glory." With a promise like that, there is no need to fear any obstacle in our path. They are simply opportunities for the Lord to prove His faithfulness, and to give us a testimony that we can share with others.

Though many years have passed since that trip to Washington, my wife and I still depend on God to supply all our need. God is good, and He keeps His promises.

God is Evil?

2009-08-15T14:36:00.000+02:00

When I saw this video I was like what's this. The city where I reside the gay movement was behind an exhibition at the Art Musem asking people to go and read the Bible and whatever they don't agree with they should take it off and write what they think or agree with.
For someone like me that was taught to reverence the Bible as God's instruction and manual of life ~ I was upset in the era of political correctness the so called gay movement won't try that with the Koran. In my rage, I'm very very very convinced that the mercy and love of God is beyond comprehension. I just say God have mercy and touch the lives of those behind it and the people that disagree with your word.

The reality of life is that God is able to defend himself but God isn't at war with his own creation this might come as a surprise! The kingdom of darkness is trying so hard to rubbish what and who God is like in the video.....the reality is there are millions of people like the professor asking the same question and there are millions of people like the little girl with the same answer. Which side are you...whatever side you're in I would like to say GOD IS LOVE. The everlasting truth is that God is always VICTORIOUS and whenever LIGHT show up DARKNESS disappear!

I would like you to read your thoughts about the video and feel free to share your thought. Have a wonderful life!

Finished Product

2009-07-18T16:19:00.000+02:00

Few moments ago, I was talking to DC my best pal, I said something about popcorn – popcorn is something loads of people like to eat. You can actually make a salt, sugar, plain or honey type of popcorn. When people go to see movies they grab a bag/bowl of popcorn and drink of their choice and sit to watch the movie.

I remember painting a popcorn picture, where two lovers are having a quiet weekend with a bowl of corn and watching some DVD like the 15 in 1 DVD ~ please don’t hate because you can actually get 15 different blockbuster movies in one DVD ~ still a mystery if you ask me but I watch them! I remembered watching the new series of Heroes & Prison Break hmmm!!

Okay, back to my popcorn gist, what’s amazing about popcorn is how can pull out seeds and oil, pour the measured ingredients into a covered pan. Not too long you can actually have a wonderful smell where you are. Also you will hear the seeds busting and making some sounds ~ I love that sound! When you open the pan you will see finished and lovely looking popcorn which you empty into a bowl or a little bag and serve for eating.

I marvelled at how such a tiny seed so hard and tasteless, when put under heat, could turn into such a tasty snack. Thinking on this, I realised that heat is one of the main ingredients needed when making this treat. The changes these tiny hard seeds into the finished product: Lovely popcorn

In life, we see people lives i.e. relationship, business, society or endeavour and sometimes we just don’t want to think about what they went through to be in that position you admire. Especially in relationship, when you hear people say I LOVE YOU to each other – do you realised what they must gone through to say to each other those words? All of us would agree we enjoy hearing those three words from people we love and care about.

Life can be likened to one of these kernels. When trials comes across our pathway and the “heat” seems more then we can bear in our relationship, pursuit, endeavours, we need to remember that the LORD is making you into something He can use - something that will be beneficial to others and bring glory to His name. Hard pieces of popcorn are of little use unless they are heated. So are you!

Do we ever complain when the “fires” start to roar around us? Or do we instead see the finished product moulded from love, compassion, and encouragement found amid the heat? Always know that there is always a “process” in the “finished Product” you experience, taste and see today and admire. When trials come, let’s spend time in prayer and hold on to the Lord’s hand. If you do, you will become that finished product that God can use for His service.

Sharing

2009-06-12T13:21:00.000+02:00

I got this mail from my brother this morning. My brother is someone I really love so much. He's such a nice guy. He practices what he preaches. I love him a lot and my other siblings. My brother is a nice and kind bloke. I really can't find anyone with the evil's mind or plays the devil's advocate. I realised my parents did their best in bringing us up. I remembered discussing with someone, I said in my house we share our meals together especially the dinners in weekdays but weekends we share lunch and dinner together. So you have to go look for the other person before you eat...not because we don't have enough but because I guess SHARING was what matter most!

My elder brother was my sharing-buddy, as I grew up and become independent doing my own stuff and living my life, I realised I'm connected with my siblings because I believed what my parents taught us the written and unwritten principles of life. If you pause, look and think you'll realised that "sharing" is missing in families, communities, societies. As a result, whilst they can't share their meals they can't agree on anything.

Many people would love to share but the reality is that they weren't taught how to share - so it's impossible for them to actually share with people especially those in need. I believe sharing can be relative - I won't go into the argument of types of sharing but I believe if you can share your meal with your siblings, friends, stranger etc then you can as well share other stuffs with other i.e. pains, joy, happiness, sadness, disappointment, achievement etc. Also, you won't find it difficult to share with others.

Below is the daily mail my brother sent to me. Read it and enjoy it. I told people my parents didn't send me loads of money whilst studying but I know my parents (especially my mum was praying for me). Each time I think about it...gives me so much joy than the £1000 balance in my account.

Have a nice weekend. TGIF

“The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer.” – Psalm 6:9

My childhood was overshadowed with prayer. Often when coming home from school, I would hear my mom in her room communing with God. Many times I drifted off to asleep listening to my dad praying in his study. At a young age I gave my heart to God, but in my late teens I began to neglect reading my Bible and praying. I thought I was missing something because of my sheltered life. Eventually, I left my Christian home and moved to a large city about five hundred miles away.

Immediately my life began going downhill. Before long, I was doing things I never dreamed I would do, yet I found no pleasure in sin. Instead there were disappointments and remorse, and I was disillusioned at every turn.

God began dealing with me. At that time I was working the graveyard shift, and we were not always busy. One night I decided that if there was no work to do when I arrived for my shift, I would write a letter to my dad. There was no work, so I began writing. As I wrote, the tears flowed. I poured out my heart in that letter, at the same time asking God to forgive me. At five o’clock in the morning, I laid my pen down. I had said everything in my heart.

Five-hundred miles away, on that very night, my burdened father went to his study to pray for his wayward daughter. He wrestled in prayer for a time, and then moved out to the garage to pray. Finally, he drove to the church, and there he stayed on his knees until he prayed through—he knew God was going to answer. When he got to his feet, it was five in the morning!

In a short time, I made my way back to my hometown. Once there, I repented of my sins, and God forgave me.

What a blessing it is to have praying parents! No one who has tried to pray would claim that serious praying is easy, but if we set ourselves to do it and make it a priority in our lives, God will answer. He will even teach us how to pray and direct our prayers to the needs of individuals.

Try praying—it works.

Repentance

2009-06-02T14:00:00.000+02:00

The word repentance comes to my mind over the weekend. I heard my Pastor P.V talked about it. What does it actually mean – I would go by the simply definition which is stop what you’re doing, don’t continue and change for the better.

I believe we’re actually many in the quest to stop what we’re doing, don’t continue and change for the better. Personally I believe repentance is a daily application as I strive to live the life which is freely given to me. I view my life as a gift actually – which is the most exciting thing about my life. I reckon you can relate to it as well.

Repentance might mean different thing to different people, but whatever the case is, I believe the experiences and opportunities are available to each of us. I would like to encourage you in your journey of life to align yourself with repentance not like a survival toolkit but as a privilege where you can leverage your relationship, pursuits, aspirations, mistakes and yourself (most importantly).

As you reflect on your actions – ask yourself should I stop doing it, don’t continue and change for the better. Have a nice day. Wish you all the best.

Repentance

2009-06-01T13:39:00.000+02:00

I believe we’re actually many in the quest to stop what we’re doing, don’t continue and change for the better. Personally I believe repentance is a daily application as I “strive” to live the life which is freely given to me. I view my life as a gift actually – which is the most exciting thing about my life. I reckon you can relate to it as well.

As you reflect on your actions – ask yourself should I stop doing it, don’t continue and change for the better. Have a nice day. Wish you all the best.

Like Samson....

2009-05-24T21:43:00.000+02:00

Not clear about what I want to write about for the past one week, but today it became vivid to me what I should write about. I reckon we all as human have experienced missed opportunities and chances in life. I believe we all have dreams and aspirations. It might have been suggested to us that we have missed our chance or opportunity since we didn’t take it or blew it away. Like the popular saying “opportunity comes but once”. It’s actually true that opportunity come once?

Personally, I’m amongst the category of people who have missed not just one opportunity but loads of them...some time I wonder if I’m going to get another one. My life as a man is interesting. I can’t exchange my life for anyone life. Someone said some lives can be like a cycle where everything fit together, whilst some lives can be ups, downs and mix-matches where it doesn’t fit at all. Mine is not like the cycle but more like the ups, downs, mix-matches life.

I believe in my heart I have a purpose in this life to achieve and there is a purpose for everything! So if there is a purpose for everything then everything is important as well.

Since everything is important, then we ought to think about our actions and in-actions as the case maybe.

Today, I was reminded of the story of Samson. Samson was a guy with potentials, prospects and great future ahead of him, he was strong and powerful. He was successful until he met Delilah who lured him and he gave up his secret about where his power lies (Judges 16). We all know the story but if you don’t you can click the link and read it for yourself.

Sometimes, it is a surprise when we think we’re doing something for love. Samson fell in love with Delilah but the end wasn’t what he bargained for. In the course of our journey in life we might be betrayed or disappointed by those we love or fell in love with but I want to encourage you not to stop loving because in my few years in this world, I’ve realised nothing more powerful than LOVE. Love is powerful, it’s a force that everyone should experience and utilise on a daily basis. I really don’t know where you’re now in your life journey but one thing I can assure you - if you’re down with Love, Love will be down for you as well.

As we all know Samson made a mess of his opportunity, potentials, prospects etc but there is something I like about the story of Samson which is very encouraging. No matter how much you’ve messed, failed or missed your chances and opportunities there is always a second chance. Samson had his chance again Judges 16:22.the hair on his head began to grow agains after it had been shaved.

I want to encourage you no matter what you’re going through just don’t quit always know that God has the final say in every situation you find yourself. There is nothing like opportunity or chance comes only once. Samson took his opportunity or chance as we know he achieved what he was created or called to do – which is to deliver the people of Israel from the Philistines. We might argue it wasn’t the best way for him to die or kill the philistines because he died. I am not concerned about the method or medium but what I’m concerned about is he destroyed the philistines.

My wish and prayer for you is that “if your hair were shaved may it grow again” – so that you will accomplish those dreams and aspirations of yours. Have a nice day x

Roll the dice

2009-05-21T13:50:00.000+02:00

My friend sent me this poem after reading I felt I can relate with it personally. So I decided to share it with you. I don't know what's going on in your life but wherever you're. I personally wish you all the best in life. Enjoy life and have a nice day x
===
if you’re going to try, go all the way.
Otherwise, don’t even start.

If you’re going to try, go all the way.
This could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and maybe your mind.

Go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days
it could mean freezing on a park bench
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery, isolation.

Isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your endurance,
of how much you really want to do it.
And you’ll do it
despite rejection and the worst odds
and it will be better than
anything else you can imagine.

if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
there is no other feeling like that.
you will be alone with the gods
and the nights will flame with fire.

do it, do it, do it.do it.

all the way
all the way.

You will ride life straight to perfect laughter,
its the only good fight there is.

- Charles Bukowski

Pink

2009-05-17T14:39:00.000+02:00

Now I'm wondering what's actually happening to me. I realised I'm getting to fancy pink shirts and colour. I know summer time is around the corner but I'm not too sure about how people perceive guys wearing pink colours. I know pink is the colour for breast cancer - I give God praise because I'm whole!!
So I'm asking you reading this post in my blog, should I go ahead or stop? I reckon I can't do much about how people might perceive me loving pink - lol but I guess I can control a wee bit of how I come across or present myself. I would like to hear from you - do you fancy pink? If yes, why? If no, why? Have a nice sunday x

Sammie

2009-05-08T16:13:00.000+02:00

I watched the press conference of Sammie the 11 years old boy that was killed by a hit and run driver in Bristol. I heard the dad described him and how much they’ll miss him but the phrase that stick on my head and got me thinking is “when his father said to the reporters and those of us watching the news conference that “he loved Jesus”. I reckon Sky news called him the “Jesus boy”

This year my beloved dad passed away from this earth, if you read my earlier post titled my DAD – you will get the gist. I often wonder and asked myself this question – what would people say or remember me of when I leave this earth – surely one day we’ll leave this earth!
Another thing that got me thinking again about Sammie's death was he was walkeing back home from church – I don’t know if I am over-reacting here but let us pause for a minute and think about this – a eleven years old boy healthy, full of life and loves Jesus met his death whilst coming back from church. I believe his death was not caused by juju, family wahala nor “bluetooth” as my friend Okwudiri puts it when I told him about my dad (abi them don send am Bluetooth)

For Sammie, he resided in a lovely and organised neighbourhood where there are pedestrian paths, speed limits on streets and roads and speed cameras and CCTVs but he met his death whilst walking back home from church. Let us compare it to a typical Nigeria city i.e. Lagos – mushin, Ikeja or Ikoyi where the probabilities of this sort of road accident is high.

Some of us might say, it won’t happen to me because I live in the States, Canada, Australia, UK, Germany but my question is not about where you reside but when you leave this earth how would people describe you – your family, friends etc?

I have loads of memories about my dad – I’ll describe him as a good father. He loves people and treated people with respect and dignity. I hope as you read this post – you can take a minute and pray for the family of “the boy that loves Jesus” that God will comfort them as they go through this tragic period. Have a nice weekend x

The "L" Word

2009-04-28T19:24:00.000+02:00

For the past few days, I'm thinking about the "L" word. Over the past week, I noticed lot of people are actually talking about the "L" word. I find myself asking myself this question - what's Love? I saw this post on a friend's wall on facebook "my dear, how do u known someone is crazy? when they say to u God told me" when all they talk about is me me me or mine my my" when they do not have a fitter, that is always asking your advise, but do the opposite" when they say they are in Christ but live out side of Christ... they no better... todays preaching can u believe this.lol"
I reckon it's about a guy who's selfish in the way he expresses his affections toward the other person. I must admit I'm not an expert in love but I like to keep things simple because age and experience has taught me that simplicity is admirable!
What do I actually think about the "L" word? Personally, I rely on the Bible definition of Love - which I shared with YankeeNaijaGurl on her blog. Here it is "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
Each time I ponder and reflect on this definition of Love - I hear myself saying to myself, this is the love I want to exhibit and express (I'll admit I'm not there yet but I'm WIP). I know there are various kind of love i.e. agape, platonic etc but each time I find myself acting or expressing outside this love definition I just know I'm not acting in Love.
I believe love isn't complicated but simple. I believe as we live this life and seek to act and express ourselves each day in love - lets pause and ask ourselves if actually it's Love or not.
Thanks for reading this post. Let your own thing be your own thing x

Where is your Dad?

2009-04-24T13:27:00.001+02:00

Reading my earlier post, I realised I didn't mention my Dad. Some people might think I don't have a dad or I was a product of malfunctioned or broken home - please I wasn't to. If I was who are you to judge me? Before you lift the stone, first think about yourself. I was happy when "my world" agreed with me about my mum actions - it's natural for mums! Anyway my mum was a typical house-wife - not the 21st or modern "gals" or "women" now. Her duties and responsibilities were simply defined - make sure the "home" is "functioning". As you noticed I bold the word home and functioning because it's not easy to get both right - but I give her credit - she did an excellent job in delivering both.

Okay, about my dad - he's a wonderful dad with his faults and weakness as well. I won't exchange him for any other Dad. He was kind and caring. He wasn't selfish. I remembered visiting my friends houses and some of them I wonder what's wrong with their dad, because they have Daddy's seat, TV, table, room, toothpaste etc. When they hear their dad coming back from work, they switch off the TV and leave the sitting room aka "parlour" because they're not allowed. Na wa o!!

For me that wasn't the case, when my dad is back because he wasn't always around due to the type of work he does. We make sure we enjoy every moment with him. I guess he wasn't fed up of hanging out with us - but visitors and family people won't allow us because whenever he's around - you get all sort of meetings with all sort of issues that requires his attention.

I almost forgot to mention that my Dad was a "Chief" was well (you know Nigerians with title). So whenever he's around, there are issues that demands his attention - you know "family issues no dey end!" As I grow older, I see why family issues can't end because that's life for you!

So for me chilling down in my sitting room and enjoying my our Dad's TV, seat etc wasn't an issue - but the thing my mum hates the most is when she pops into the sitting room and find you sitting "anyhow" or placing your legs on the "side stools" - you know the side stools?? I don get enough knock aka "crack" for my head for placing my legs on side stools!

Now I hope the question about me having a Dad or not - is sorted! Next time, I will talk about my Dad because I miss him a lot!

What to Blog about?

2009-04-23T18:19:00.000+02:00

Seriously, I am trying to start blog thing I realised life is transient more so, an average man might live on earth about 22,000 - 26,000 days (no juju, black-magic, family wahala etc). So I'm thinking about what to do with my time especially now I have a bit of time to spare.

I thought about what I will call my blog - so I decided to name my blog after the meaning of my name "My Own thing". Indeed the meaning of my name matters a lot to me dearly. I remembered vividly when I was in junior school, anytime I come back home from school with anything and my mum don't recognise or didn't buy for me - I'm in big trouble (soup) that day. I have to explain who, where and how I got that thing from.

So growing up, I learnt the lesson to stick with my own thing. If it's not mine no be mind (if e no b panadol, e no fit be like panadol). So taking anything to my house was like trying to be 007 James Bond into my house because of I might get into a big (soup). As you know the last thing you want to get into is your mum's wahala (soup) after you're back from school because the thing in my mind is to run into the kitchen and get my food because I'm always hungry.

So people, if you got any ideas, please try and contact me. I hope to be faithful and keep it real and simple. I am a great believer of simplicity. I look forward to hearing from you all.